


Regrets in the Dark

by R_S



Series: Each and Every Time [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Massage, zolu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 09:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14329956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_S/pseuds/R_S
Summary: When something happens again, Zoro can't say he's imagining anything.





	Regrets in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> One Piece belongs to Oda!

_He's imagining things! All he needs is to get a grip!_

 

 

The days go by, and become weeks. Zoro growing surer and surer he's imagined all of... whatever _that_ was. Reasoned away the hands all over him, because flying in a bodily tangle does that... and being _pinned..._ on Luffy in fact being stronger than he is... something the Swordsman is just _bothered by_ and nothing else. What man would _not_ be bothered, Ne? To know there's a guy stronger than them _anywhere._ Let alone that guy being at his own shoulder? And what his Captain had said... well... Luffy's an idiot, so whatever he says is omitted for that reason. Besides, there's been absolutely zero change in how they treat each other. How they fight, or how they travel. Sharing meals. Coexisting in close quarters without a skip or link of tension... His Captain is his Captain, and he's got a _Dream_ to pursue, just the same _and regardless_...

 

 

“Haha-hahaha!” Ace laughs nearly as much as Luffy does. The two brothers side by side with their backs up against a great big rock. The Older Brother having constructed (and lit) a healthy fire in a pit dug in the sand. All of the crew sat around it. Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Usopp, and Chopper; with Vivi as their escort... Stopping here for this night, before they're up and walking again. Across these deserts of Alabasta. This will be the last day they'll spend with Ace, because he's moving on. Still searching for his Traitor. Nobody's sad about his leaving, not even his Little Brother. Understood when they'd met up again, that it would only be for a short reunion.

Another reason not to be sad is the half-dozen barrels of clear rice wine Ace had supplied. Showed up over the crest of a high dune waving an arm, announcing they'd be drinking that night. Little else has gone on since. Cloudless skies darkening above their heads, and temperatures drop below freezing.

 

“... _will_ you be alright?” She asks. The fragile teenage girl with long day-blue hair tucked back into the folds of her hood. Clutching her cup. “...returning south... on your own?”

Ace smirks, showing off a line of white teeth. His freckles made clear for the firelight. “Don't need to worry about me, your Majesty. You already have _so many_ worries.” Vivi's blushed, the Princess pulling her cloak closer about her shoulders. Portgus D Ace taking a long drink, then cuffed his little brother. “And _you_ , Luff- Don't'ya forget now, _the Pirate's Summit_.” Luffy has his straw hat in his lap, toes wriggling in open string sandals. Zoro's attention is drawn to his Captain's left hand, resting on top dry straw. Fingertips that ghost over a red silk ribbon, and he knows that's the place where Nami's sewn the mysterious blank paper Luffy had gotten from his older brother right before they all started drinking. A slight and calculated touch, two aspects not usually associated with a human being made of rubber.

“Shi-shishi~! I'll be there!” Laughing like normal. Luffy laughing is _always_ normal. A constant, like the sky being blue, and up being down. .... so why can't the Future Greatest Swordsman in the World shake this itch...? _Why_ does hearing his Captain's voice grate, and _shred_ his nerves?

 

“ _Shishishishi-!_ ”

 

For a few hours the drinking went on. Boasting, and embellishing recounts of their previous battles, eventually passing out one by one. And all the time Zoro keeps drinking. Hoping alcohol can enlighten, or at least _pickle_ this sour mood he's been left in. He drinks until it's only him and Ace awake. The very last drops of the wine poured into these two Pirates' cups, and they toast.

 

“Three swords, Ne? Who was it taught you something like that?”

Zoro can't help the lift of his lip up his face. Ace is just that personable. Another way those two are just alike. Ace and Luffy... He bends himself forward. Zoro. Elbows resting on his knees, with half-empty glass cradled in his hands. “Nobody. Two swords wasn't good enough, so I decided I'd use three.”

“Good enough? What's that about?” Reminders of Kuina come less often then they used to. Zoro truthfully cannot even remember the small _finer_ details of the girl who always wore dark pants, and a shirt too big for her. The first time he realized this, he'd been left feeling rather sick. Knowing he could have, at one time, _painted_ the sharpened concentration engraved in Kuina's eyes as she faced him. Put her all against him. She beat Zoro down, each time. Even after he'd started counting her steps. Training _hours a day_ to match her gate and glide while he himself began to grow. But those times are gone, and he can't remember how it felt to tear muscle that was already torn by bone. Unsure yet, if he's _alright_ with this. That these pieces of memory slip away. _Taken_ by time, as other more present _living_ memories take up place. “An old Rival,” Roronoa Zoro tells his Captain's Brother. Then he's wondered if he _should_ maintain _a memory_. It's been a long time, and while he remains faithful to his motives – _her_ memory in the most general terms _has_ inadvertently matured with him.

“Ehh~? An old _girlfriend?_ ” Ace chortles drunkenly in his throat, stretching out his legs. The wind whips up the valley, blowing sand half over everyone. Huddled under this crop of rock. Ruffling their hoods and coats. Ace bends to pull a blanket up over the mess of bodies huddled together, asleep in front of the fire. Paused to grin at Luffy, his Little Brother snoring loudly and half draped over one of his nakama. The young dark kid with a long nose. He's settled himself back down in the sand next to Zoro, with a smirk all over his face.

“She was _not_ my girlfriend.”

“Oh? But I'm am right? There _was a girl_? Saying she's your Rival, Ne?”

Zoro slurps his wine. Thinking back to those years he grew up in the Dojo. Finding himself only able to recall shreds of a whole. The things that filled his time. Training, and duels, more training. More challenges. More defeat, and resolve... and now here he is. Reliving all his faults and failures sat next to a Pirate. _He's a Pirate_! The Katas he'd dedicated his life to, back then... Dancing in circles with Kuina, and yet he'd never been able to best her. He _never_ will.

“You _sure_ she wasn't your girlfriend?”

“ _Che'_ I was nine.”

“You can love somebody at the age of nine.” Ace points at. Reaching to fluff his Little Brother's shaggy black hair. An action that doesn't wake him up. “O'course, it's the same for a Rival. In a way. They're someone you think about. Day and night. Can't sleep sometimes, wanting to hear their voice. Touch their skin...” Whitebeard's Second Division Commander tips his cup. Draining the last drops of firey clear spirits down his throat. “Love's weird like that.”

Zoro wonders privately how hard it really is, for that man to get up and walk away from the fire. Back a few minutes later with his orange bag packed. Ash-grey eyes reflecting back licks of orange flame in a soft expression on his Little Brother – who's wormed and squirmed so he's got a leg or an arm draped over every one of these nakama he's found in this world. Right arm curled under his First Mate's thick knee. “Take care of him, Ne? My idiot baby brother?”

Zoro's half sure he's heard fear there. In a small way that wasn't their when he'd asked the entire crew for just the same thing not half a day before. The First Mate's throat dried up, so he can only nod, mutely. Ace given an acknowledging bow, and turned to go. Quickly indistinguishable from the rest of this black night that presses close all around like a wall. The stars overhead not near bright enough to detail the world, with the moon missing. Nights like these are unlucky, because a person can look at them too long. They fall right into the darkness.

 

“N- _ehh-_?” Luffy's wiping his face with his arms. Blinked, and looked about. “Ace go?”

“Aye, Sencho. Just went.” Zoro finishes his wine. Setting the cup down in the sand. His Captain untangling himself from the others, and gotten to his feet. Sandals sinking in the sand, and gone to stand in front of the fire. Perfectly still. An odd sight to see, Luffy not boisterously rolling forward like a falling boulder hurtled by some Giant across the Grand Line. Brown eyes wide open in search for outlines of things immediately around them in the dark.

The wind whistles... through every gully. Caught up in the gaps between cacti and stone. Searching freezing fingers inside their clothes. It stings Zoro's eyes, but he keeps them open. Unwilling to look away from his Captain's fierce stance. Aware that Luffy's lip curls in defiance. Sneering a contest... but what of? The wind? Zoro wouldn't be surprised to see Luffy pick a fight with the wind. Might even win. Who knew. Nobody thought he'd just _appear_ in East Blue, one day. Take over a Marine Base, and release a dangerous prisoner. Down a High Bounty Pirate... Then he's front of a fight against a goddamn _Fishman._ All of this happened within the span of a few weeks... Zoro had never even seen a Fishman on the Ocean, until that day. Half convinced they didn't exist. _Sure_ he'd never of come even _that_ far, if he hadn't met Him. Luffy. If that scrawny little kid hadn't come to untie him from that post, and fight beside him... Pretty sure he'd be dead. “Something bothering you, Sencho?” His Captain has his hood put back. Stood there in front of the flames. Straw hat on his head rustling for the breeze, and his First Mate knows there's _something_ eating at him.

“... ... yea.” Said in half a breath, badly distorted by the wind. Zoro _feels_ sharply more than just that small admission. His whole heart ripped out. Left dark red splats in the sand as it's pitched away to be buried. Strange he can still hear blood rushing in his ears... Getting up from where he'd been sitting, and walked a few paces forward from the others. Towards Luffy. Halting half an arm from his Captain's back, with his right hand wound into the hilts of his three katana.

“Yea...?” The older prompts, and waits. He gets no response, and sighs. “ _What's_ bothering you, Sencho?” Night is far from quiet in the desert. Not only is there wind, there's the wildlife. Lizards, snakes, insects, fucking _birds_. All chattering and pattering... squawking... Their various noises are all swallowed up, however. When Luffy's turned. Giving over a curious, rather _invasive_ attention.

 

Left with only the rushing of blood behind his eardrums, and at a tremendous pace. Zoro's missed the action that's put the smaller teen into the space that _used to be_ between them. His Captain reaching under open layers of fabric to place both palms on the outside of the swordsman's white shirt. Drawing him, gradually, until they're pressed belly to warm belly. Luffy touching the tip of his nose to the thick groove below Zoro's chin, trailing along the larger man's jaw to take in a long breath of him.

“Gonna be a big fight tomorrow.” Fire throws shadows that half hide them from one another. “Might die.” Open honesty of this fact is _refreshing_. Comforting. When said so excitedly, as Luffy does. After having been made to endure Vivi's futile affirmations that they'll _save them all_. Her people were _already dying._ Every day. She'd seen it for herself! Zoro prickles, reminded of this Kingdom's Civil War they've chosen to march right to the center of. All of this just to stir up challenge, and he _needs_ a goddamn _challenge_.

The Swordsman's unknowingly begun to growl in the back of his thick throat. Very quietly, but his Captain's still heard it. Still felt the seize of hot cords in Zoro's back that are heated muscles folding into hard mounds. Grinning, Luffy works all his fingers into fabric and flesh. Flattening out these fluxuating ridges. Chin on his First Mate's shoulder, he doesn't see green eyes roll back. Bliss-painful knots pulled free like the breaking bones, before alcohol reminds him it's all in his head. A few degrees below 'dumb', Zoro's let his head down on his Captain's shoulder. Arms hung at his sides, as he's allowed the other to work. “ _Che'_ Don't tell me you're afraid of dying. _You_ of all people.” Zoro can admit to himself he'd passed 'buzzed' hours ago. Had more to drink than anyone else. Even if he is drunk, he's got a clear memory that flashes behind his eyes. Of a cloudless sunny day one moment, before a storm began to circle. Of Luffy's head about to come off, on that execution platform in Lougetown.

 

_...Sorry, I'm dead._

 

Still gives him shivers and sweats, at night. When Zoro hears echoes of his Captain's voice in both ears while he sleeps. Hears it bounce off the walls and back at him even after he has fallen from his hammock, sun-bronzed skin wet and clammy. Cold all the way through him.

“Shishi~ Not afraid of stuff like that.” Heart expanding, blood rushes to rile his bones and ache Zoro's teeth.

“What are you afraid of, then?” Giggling. His Captain's brought a dark head up. Eyes grasping on to the other man's like a monkey in the vines. Luffy's attention flitting from green hair to gold piercings to counting all the tiny white scars on his First Mate's face.

“Living...” Not said, so much as whispered close over Zoro's lips. “...with regrets.” The kiss that follows came against Zoro, melting through his inebriation so he's only fully aware he's being kiss after he's been kissed, and is _being kissed_. Luffy's hands wandering up the older's spine, making gradual circles along each vertebre and releasing pressure. One very deep knot springs open, and when the release of it makes peace with all those connected the resulting blossom of relief pulls apart the Swordsman's lips. Luffy sliding his tongue out to lap at exposed teeth.

Zoro can no longer hear the wind, or blood in his ears, or anything at all. Frozen in place with one hand wrapped up in the hilts of his weapons, the other merely out in open air. While his Captain works down sore tendons. Unraveling them to pulse hotly, followed by a steadying numbness. The kiss that had been initiated deepened, until Zoro's unsure where physical boundaries exist between them.

 

Aware of the sound that is made, when their lips came apart. Stood together under dark skies in the desert. His Captain's arms going around and around him, and a smile that's lit up by more than just firelight. Giggling against Zoro's chest. A moment later and the long dry walk for days, coupled with enormous amounts of alcohol remind the Swordsman that he's dead exhausted. Eyes fluttering shut outside his control, and sleep breaks upon him like these gusts of wind. Pulled in some direction, and Zoro groggily lies does with everyone. Luffy still giggling when he's scooted up close. Shut his eyes, and wished his First Mate goodnight.

 

Zoro thought he'd imagined..... but now … .... and he can't say anymore he's imagining Th- _this_...? Whatever _This_ is....? Luffy's snoring, curled forward and breathing against his First Mate's chest. On any other night, the other man would put his head back and think nothing of it. But with his Captain's taste on his lips, and warmth passing between them... Frustration grinds the young swordsman's teeth, and he's too hot. Trying to close his eyes, to focus on the freezing air going in and out of him. But nothing works, and he doesn't sleep at all. He just can't... _doesn't_ understand.

 


End file.
